This is a blog post about politics and the anxiety it has caused me lately. If you're not in the right headspace to read something like this, skip this post but maybe come back to it later.

A couple of weeks ago, I found myself spiraling. The images flooding our screens felt apocalyptic: people being Kidnapped off streets by masked men who refuse to identify themselves, the construction of concentration camps, a Democratic state senator assassinated, a Democratic Black congresswoman arrested on fabricated charges and now facing 17 years in prison, a Latino senator thrown to the ground by ICE agents for simply asking a question. They move like the Gestapo, and we're living under a dictatorship.

The worst part? I saw it coming. Like so many other Black women, I saw this shit coming and spoke about it loudly. People thought I was overreacting.

The face you make when you realize you're caught in a trap. Have y'all seen Opus? Go watch it now.

Now a cruel regime has seized power, and it's left me drowning in anxiety. I'm a big dreamer and found myself imagining scenarios where Black people across the diaspora reject all this bullshit that has weighed us down and unite to build our future together. But whenever I conjure something beautiful, reality bursts that bubble, leaving me with nothing but air.

But air isn't nothing. Life can't exist without air.

I'm writing this to talk about the anxiety that I've been feeling lately and how I'm learning to cope. Two weeks ago I'd been paying really close attention to the news and doomscrolling way too much. I'm convinced that Stephen Miller and his gang are crafting a Final Solution for the "Negro Problem". I was throwing my anxiety all over my family, all because of what this regime has been doing. The hunting of Latinos and other immigrants right now, with babies being snatched out of their mother's arms, has me thinking a lot about slave catchers during the over two centuries that Black people were enslaved in this country. None of this is normal.

This is all very serious and it is cause for alarm, AND I had to check myself when I started listening to Michael Harriot's Black AF History. At the beginning, he describes having the exact same reaction I'm having now—except he was eight years old and Reagan had just been elected president.

So yeah, some perspective was overdue.

Yes, things are really bad. Yes, we should be worried. Yes, these people are implementing their evil plans while nobody stops them. Yes, the role technology is playing in all of this is fucking terrifying. But we are not helpless. We can still control some things*. And for me, the first thing I needed to control was myself.

So I did what everyone living in 2025 does when looking for answers. I turned to YouTube ?. The first video I clicked was by Dr. Scott Eliers (never heard of him, not endorsing him, but his tips were solid). He shared six things he stopped doing to manage anxiety. I listened, took notes, made some adjustments, and turned it into another Note to Self:

• Stop Avoiding
• No Caffeine
• Do an Activity
• Eat Regularly
• Stop Trying to Do Everything
• Trust Yourself

His original tips included no stimulants, stop trying to do everything yourself, and trust your future self. I tweaked them because mine felt more accurate for this moment for me personally. Why was I simultaneously trying to dream up scenarios that would cause the diaspora to unite, figure out if my business could survive outside America, plan a fall production schedule, fulfill the orders in my queue while providing excellent customer service, AND remember to eat lunch? "Stop trying to do everything" felt right.

"Trust yourself" resonated too. My instincts about this regime are probably correct, but I need to trust that I'll be equipped to handle whatever comes. And if I can't handle it alone, I should maintain connections with people I love and who love me so we can share the load together. And I should trust the others around me, too. They are not stupid. They, too, are paying attention. We will weather this storm together.

Also, why am I letting the actions of these soulless ghouls push me so close to the edge? Time to kill that noise and focus.

The Caffeine Challenge

The caffeine part felt daunting. I've tried quitting before—it was miserable. Headaches, irritability, all confirming that caffeine really is a drug I'd been abusing. I was up to 24 ounces or more of coffee daily, which is no small amount.

But I resolved to try. It's been about two weeks now, and I've stuck with it. I've had exactly two cups of coffee in the past two weeks. I miss it a little, but you know what I don't miss? Waking up every night with a stomach ache. I'm sleeping through the night more consistently, and I no longer feel that desperate ache for caffeine in the morning. When cravings hit, I brew some iced tea, sip one small glass (since I don't love tea), and I'm satisfied.

Here's what I had to admit once the caffeine cravings subsided: I am so much calmer and more relaxed now. How about that.

Limiting the Doomscroll

I'm also experimenting with limiting social media. I've maintained app limits for about a week now — longer than I've ever managed before. Usually I can't make it past two hours, before I turn app limits off ??‍♀️. The doomscrolling has to stop. It's too much information, too many opinions, too many anxiety-inducing posts, too many of my own posts making others anxious, too much bile everywhere. Kill that noise too.

Thirty minutes of social media per day. Sometimes I ask for another 15 minutes, but I haven't turned off the limits yet. Yesterday, I didn't hit the 30-minute mark until after 7 PM. That's progress. I've gotten so much more work done, and I need my time because I have major events lined up for fall and winter—Kings County Fiber Festival, A Woolen Affair, and Vogue Knitting Live (my first event of 2026 and my biggest vending opportunity to meet new customers so far!). I need to focus up. As Kendrick Lamar says, "Don't put your life in these weird n**** hands', baby. Woah!"

Not only am I getting more work done, I'm finishing my work in a respectable and reasonable amount of time because I'm less distracted throughout the day. And I'm knitting again! Part of my self-care routine has always been time on the couch with my knitting and a good movie. Yesterday, I enjoyed the movie Opus starring the phenomonally talened Ayo Edebiri and the incomparable John Malkovich while knitting on my Holes Sweater by Lindsey Degen and I did not feel narry the twinge of guilt for doing it because my work is on schedule. I was losing so much knitting time to doom scrolling. SMH.

Now don't get me wrong. I am still staying informed. I still read the news and watch and listen to the podcasts I've been listening to, but in moderation and only during certain hours. I've also begun to listen to more audio books about topics that interest me to break of the doom cycle. This is not the time to look away. We have to understand what's happening around us. No matter how upsetting it is.

You Got This

I have this latest note hanging in my studio. It's a painted fabric collage on paper, made with fabric scraps I wove together in a plain weave pattern. I painted the Adinkra symbol for "love finds its way home" along with hearts in silver and pink. I also wrote "You Got This" because I do got this. We all got this.

This shit is going to be hard to navigate. Like I wrote in my newsletter back in November, there are hard times ahead. Especially for immigrants to this country, because they're being hunted down by these masked men. Especially Black people, because the regime want to starve us by pushing us out of jobs and eliminating opportunity for us — a thing that has been happening for quite some time, in truth. We are always under threat because we are the most hated people in this country. Especially trans people, because the regime doesn't want them to exist. Especially disabled people, because the regime wants them locked away and invisible.

This is an ugly regime using cruelty and terror to control us. But we will laugh in their faces and mock them. We will THRIVE despite the dirt they throw on top of us. Trees and flowers and plants and mushrooms and vines grow out of the ground and take over. Be like the trees and flowers and plants and mushrooms — flourish, break through that dirt, take up space, rise up into the air, breathe, and live.

* Please, if you are in a population that is under threat, turn off the location data for apps, especially the ones that don't need it in order to fuction. And maybe considering deleting certain apps entirely because ICE is using location data from our apps and using software from Planatir to predict the locations of targets based on past behavior and movements. No, I am not being paranoid. It's been reported by the tech press. And this is the same kind of software that is used to target "terrorists" in other countries. These tools are now being used on all of us. Before this regime took power, our data was used to sell us stuff, now it's being used to keep tabs on us. This is a huge story that should be picked up by the mainstream press, but they're too busy talking about Epstein. SMH